This afternoon I went with my mum to the Chapel of Rest to see Dads body laid out in the coffin. I am not sure what if any comfort this ritual brings. To see my mum crying next to the body of the man she was married to for 52 years broke my heart.
I left an accidental cliff hanger in my last blog. I spent a number of years not talking to my parents. In the early part of this year when we were first told that Dad only had days to live I expressed how I wished things had been different. He took my hand and said ‘All is good now…no regrets.’ Two words that at the time I took only in the context of our relationship. In the days since Dads death I have though about those words a lot, and how actually they are no a bad mantra.
A significant event such as the loss of a parent does give you pause for thought about your own life and mortality. A theme in the self help books I have read is that they generally cover the topic of death, as you would expect towards the last few pages. It’s a destiny we all share. Maybe by recognising this, even if not accepting it, and seeing that our lives are in reality not that significant given the bigger picture, we should in fact set ourselves free to actually live our lives as we want. Maybe to live with No Regrets (within moral/legal boundries.). Now this is easy to say, but I have lived my life with low self esteem and very low confidence, often terrified of making myself look like an idiot in front of other people. For example for doing something so unlike me, such as trying to write a blog…and then publishing it on the internet. But, its helping me get my thoughts in order, and with a few likes on day one its actually turned out ok so far. So yes Dad…..No Regrets.
Total Wellbeing 